[Rear View]

You’re a Lucky Man!

Every office has one, that co-worker who appears to have everything, including the perfect family. To make matters worse, every few weeks he gets to leave work early to attend his kids’ ball games, choir concerts and other school functions. How do you compete, particularly if you’re single and without any immediate marriage prospects? You deserve some well-earned time off to recharge your batteries just as much as the next guy.

Never fear, Melissa Maher — a New York advertising executive — has your back. Last year, Maher and two of her industry colleagues launched
www.TheOfficeKid.com, which provides childless workers with everything they need to create the illusion of a perfect family (think suburbia).

Here’s how it all started. "Like many things in this world (except for maybe neurosurgery and cold fusion), good ideas come from happy hours, a pen and a dirty bar napkin," according to Maher. "As 20-something childless advertising drones we were all tired of the frequent excuses given by our co-workers for missing work. From kids’ practices to doctor’s appointments, we all shared a similar story. We were all screwed because we had no kids."

What was the answer to their dilemma? Level the playing field and never miss another happy hour by creating faux children for only $19.95 per offspring, a cost-effective alternative to actually raising children.

Each OfficeKid.com kit comes with a framed photo of an adorable child, along with an accompanying piece of artwork and a list of family-friendly excuses for getting out of work. For $10 more purchase a child’s sports team picture with your face "photoshopped" into the image as the coach.

What’s the risk of being caught in your shallow charade? Not very high, according to the company’s Web site. "How often do you really meet your co-workers children?" the site asks. "So they have a few bucktooth school pictures and half-assed paintings in their cube? How do you know they’re even real? And why can’t you have the same?"

See you at the bar! — Dan Moreland